10 Thoughts Every Jew Has During Passover

It’s Passover and whether it’s your favorite holiday or not, it’s your chance to try that low-carb diet you’re always talking about. It can be a rough holiday when you can’t eat all of your favorite foods, but you’re not alone. Jews all over the world are probably having the same thoughts you are.

1. This Seder is taking forever, when can we eat?

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2. So glad my days of singing the Four Questions are over.

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3. I’m obviously the wise child.

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4. Why is packaged Passover food so gross?

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5. A bagel sounds really good right now.

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6. Can I pretend to be a  Sephardic Jew so I can have some rice?

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7. This matzo is not filling at all.

8. Goyim: What’s matzo? Me: It’s basically a giant cracker.

Kevin Spacey Bitch Please

9. A Chipotle burrito also sounds really good right now.

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10. I’m definitely going to carbo-load once Passover is over.

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